She Loved Him

She loved him platonically. Don’t get me wrong. She loved him deeply She loved his entirety despite the flaws he believed of himself and the ones that were actually there. She loved every hiccup and hair. She loved his smile and his sorrows. His energy and his egotism. After all this time she knew every part of him and yet had not found a part she couldn’t somehow love.

She chose to love him in this way. She knew the consequences of loving him any differently. She could fall asleep counting the ways it would fall apart. She knew there wasn’t another way for it to fall. Not in love, but in pieces. Every way she counted.

There was so much beauty in their love. But having a confidant and co-conspirator was not the foundation of forever. They were both just filling the loneliness until forever finally came into view. But it was so hard to see past the horizon. So she would look at the clouds and imagine what a future with him would be shaped like... just for a moment. Before reminding herself of the truth.

She loved him platonically. And there was just enough truth in that statement that she never really saw that she was lying.